Feeling alone is one of the worst feelings we can have sometimes. Whether you are longing to have friends or you long for a boyfriend or girlfriend or even missing your family. Sitting and waiting for time to pass until you meet someone or until you can see your friends again is not the way to go and can actually make your feelings worse.
Why do we feel lonely in the first place?
Many people actually feel lonely for different reasons as you get 2 types of loneliness:
Being physically alone:
Being on your own can leave you feeling lonely, or perhaps more bored because you have nobody to talk to and no friends to hang out with. The problem we tend to make when we find ourselves alone is to make negative self talk with ourselves. We tell ourselves that we are ugly and boring and that is why nobody wants to hang out with us. As this goes on and on your reality becomes true and you really do end up being a boring person and find it harder to make friends.
Being in a crowd and feeling lonely:
The second type of loneliness we experience is when we feel alone even when we are with people. How can this be though? Why would someone feel lonely in a crowd? People feel lonely in a crowd when they are misunderstood and different somehow. Another reason can be that they are hurting and have nobody they trust, thus have no one to talk to leaving them feeling extremely lonely.
What can I do to feel less lonely?
The problem we all make in trying to fix loneliness is to try and look for external factors to make us feel better. We seek more friends, more money, more food and more stuff.
There comes a point in your life where you will realize that external things disappoint you. Friends may reject you, food makes you fat and money does not bring you happiness. What we need to do is become our own best friend. You can never separate from yourself and you are always with yourself. But so many of us forget this fact every now and then.
The first thing you need to do is to start spending time with yourself. You may be saying, but I’m ALONE, duh. I’m always spending time with myself. Let me tell you this, spending time with yourself is NOT watching TV and walking up and down the house waiting for time to pass and feeling bad that you have no friends. We need to actually talk to ourselves like a real friend would. Have a conversation with yourself. Find out who you really are and what makes you tick.
Sometimes we just feel lonely because we miss the things we do with friends. Take yourself out to a movie and dinner. Go to the gym, read a book, do anything that you would normally do with friends. It’s just as fun with yourself than with a friend once you start to like yourself.
The truth is that there is only one stable thing we can rely on - and that is ourselves. Once you find the time to like yourself and spend time with yourself you WILL become more interesting and happy and people will start to notice and want what you have. Being self-reliant is a very powerful feeling as you won’t need people to make you feel happy anymore. Soon you will have many friends again. But always remember to take care of yourself. Never forget not to ignore yourself and treat yourself with respect. Being alone is really fun and essential for our health.