Waking up everyday miserable and feeling depressed is such a common problem. We dread going to work and hate our jobs and life. We constantly feel that we are living someone else’s dream and feel such regret that we are not doing what we thought we would do when we were young.
Being stuck in a rut is not fun at all. Everyday feels the same. Your mood is out of control, angry and sad at the same time. Something needs to change! And fast!
Why do we get stuck in a rut?
There are many reasons we get stuck in a rut. The number one reason is actually fear and believing we are inferior. We are scared to live the live we deserve. Personally I was stuck in a rut for 12 years. My life seemed to be paused for 12 long years and nothing changed. I knew what I wanted to do, but I was just too shy and scared. I hated the feeling of getting more and more behind in life. Everyone is getting married, getting rich and gaining more friends. They seem happy while I was dying on the inside. I have never had a girlfriend and I was still living with my parents. I really felt like a complete failure. The worst was this was in my prime years from the age of 16 to 26. No money, no girl, no life.
How do we get out of the rut and start living?
By the time I turned 26 these feelings I had was getting so bad that I started thinking horrible things. I will die alone. Why can’t I just get up and live my own life? What’s wrong with me? Why are my friends so blind? Why don’t they help me?
I started searching internet heavily trying to find out if anyone else was going through this. I found many people with the same problem. This actually made my situation worse because I just read about more people suffering and felt like there was no hope. Then I stumbled across one article that stood out to me. It said to stop waiting for someone to rescue you; you need to rescue yourself because you have everything within you to do it.
After many more research I found a way to get out of the rut. Once I realized that I could make my own future become a reality, in a matter of days I felt really great. It’s almost like being born again and everything looks more colourful and hopeful.
The steps you need to stake to get out of a rut
Change yourself from within
The very first step is that you need to realize that it’s up to you to make your own happiness. You need to stop looking for external support. You will wait forever and forever if you think that someone will come and save you. You are where you are in your life because of your actions alone.
You need to start looking inside of yourself. You have everything within you to change your life. You need to start listening to yourself and find out what you really want out of life and not what other people told you to do. Parents can be wonderful but they can also kill your soul when they force you into jobs you hate and the life you do not want. You know yourself best and only you know what would really make you happy.
Find your purpose
When you do not know what your purpose in life is, it is like sailing through life blindly. Why does it matter what you do and why would you do it? Once you find your purpose you will have such motivation to achieve your goals that nothing will stop you. However it’s not always easy to find your true purpose. Just know that your purpose is inside you. In time it will come out and reveal itself.
Sometimes our purpose is buried so deep within ourselves because we suppressed it. It will take some time for it to come out. In the mean time, do what you know and feel that you want to do. Whether it is to buy a house, get a car or find a friend.
This is probably the most important step. You need to set goals to achieve anything. I made the mistake of never having goals and just roaming around not doing anything. Once you set a goal you have something to aim for. This makes you feel instantly better, because you know that you will achieve what you set out to do. Just never give up.
Be action orientated
Your goals won’t be achieved if you do not start taking action. I know it’s hard to just start doing something when you feel depressed. Just start with something small. The first step is to take action and set some goals. Write down what you want in life and how you will get it – what will make you happy. You will find a way. But start doing it.
The difference between successful people and those that are not is that most people wait for a feeling before they start doing something. You wait to feel motivated to start work or you wait for someone before you watch a movie. You need to start forcing yourself to do work or sort out your problems even when you do not feel like it. You will be amazed at how much you can achieve once you take action.
Conquer your fears
Living in fear is horrible. It’s much easier to chicken out than to talk to the girl you like. But the truth is that when you want to gain the life you deserve and want, you will have to face some fears. The only way to overcome fear is to gradually conquer it. You need to face it and realize that it’s not so bad. For example starting your own business can be very stressful and scary. But you can decide to drop it and live in poverty for the rest of your life or you can face the fears along the way and end up rich.
There is no doubt that having low self esteem will cripple your efforts in life. You won’t have the courage to try out new things, make new friend or find you life partner because you do not believe in yourself.
You need to start building your confidence. Confidence is not about acting cocky around others or not giving a hoot about what they think. No, confidence is about knowing who you are and when people criticize you it won’t affect you. You need confidence to get what you want in life and stand up for yourself. There will be allot of people along the way that will try and push you from your path, this is why you need confidence to stay on path and in turn feel great about yourself.
As you’ve seen only you can get yourself out of a rut. You need to make plans to change your horrible life and start taking action. Once you get into motion you will be amazed at how fast you can change your life. Start today and live your life!